We are Catholic moms who follow the basic tenets of Attachment Parenting. We are different personalities; we're not clones, so you should see some varying opinions on different subjects. Join us as we continue on this exciting ride known as Catholic Mothering!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Tunnel Months

I was stressing over whether and how to add a new therapeutic technique to our life to help our older son with social and communication deficits. This is a very interesting approach which is enormously time-consuming at the front end, but eventually would be incorporated "seamlessly" into our "lifestyle". It did seem promising from the research I'd studied. It would involve a lot of parent meetings, parent and kid meetings, videotaping and two visits a month to the "consultant", an hour away each way in local, metro-area traffic.

However I have a full plate right now. The challenge of steering our son through sixth grade is far more time consuming than I thought it would be. Keeping the younger guy happy is also a consideration. My husband and I have very little time for each other and that is worrisome to both of us.

I was talking to a wise older woman about this. She told me not to make any important life decisions during these "tunnel months"--January, February and March. When she was in the convent, those facing big decisions such as whether to leave, or to stay and take final vows were always told, "Wait til April". In the dark, cold winter no one has the energy to make such important decisions. One must try to maintain the balance one already has.

I see the sense of this. Right now we are getting through the days. Meals are cooked and served; clothes are washed and put away; bills get paid, homework gets done, and most days end without tears or fighting.

But it takes an enormous amount of energy from me. I think I will wait, hunker down in my tunnel, and wait til after Easter to change our program. When the days are longer, sunnier and warmer, I too will feel stronger. Then with God's help I will be able to discern the right path for our family.

Whew. I love it when the decision is made!

UPDATE: I have just been asked to start a chapter of a parent support group in my town, by the woman who runs the group in a neighboring state. This group was so helpful to me when I first started out. I know it would be a blessing to families around here, too. I was trying to decide whether I should tell her Yes or No...then I remembered, hey, we are still in the tunnel months. I guess I will tell her that I would like to do it but can't tell her definitely until April. It just seems as if I am meant to do this...but perhaps the answer is not Yes or No but Not Yet. Just musing here. Has anyone else ever prayed for guidance and been told "not yet"?